February 1, 2020
Since yesterday, my energy level is low. So today I have decided to rest. The fatigue is over-powering. The rest of the family is going to work.
Why am I feeling so sad and down beat? Without any apparent reason, I find myself contemplating finding a huge rock and curling up under it and hiding there from the rest of the world! At first the absurd idea amuses me. But then I sit up and ask myself – Who is it that wants to curl up under a rock and why? Through some unspoken power, the observance mode in me is switched on.
And I voice my intention of the day to The Universe – I will allow The Higher Power to work as He pleases through me today. I have no agenda of my own, no schedule to follow and no appointments to keep today. I will simply follow my inner impulses – whatever they may be.
What an incredible day this has been!
Never in my life have I felt so strongly, such ebb and flow of energy!
The first half of the day saw me wanting to clean my house – that cupboard & this drawer, that corner & this shelf. And I did all that. Finally, after scrubbing clean, the kitchen floor, I decided, it was time to sit and meditate for a while.
Now, I have always – always, lighted one candle and meditated in front of it. But today, I arranged the altar and lighted 5 candles! In different colours! I wanted to burn sandalwood oil too. As I struggled with the small oil-bottle, for the droplets to fall on the water in the burner, I remembered a medicine dropper that I used to have. The dropper would make the task super easy. So the next 10 minutes saw me rummaging through all my bedroom and bathroom drawers for it. All in vain! Somehow I managed to put a few droplets of the oil into the burner.
The Zen music, there after, guided me into efforts of inner stillness.
I don’t know how long I sat in meditation, but I do remember having this strong urge to get up and paint.
I haven’t painted in years now! At one time, I was an avid acrylic painter. That was before I actively joined our family business.
The urge to hold the paint brush and behold the play of colours on a blank canvas was astonishingly intense.
I opened all the boxes and bags in which all my paint supplies had been carefully and lovingly packed away long ago, by me. From the attic, I brought down a large blank canvas which I had covered in newspaper and kept away, God knows how many years ago.
And I proceeded to paint a landscape. Effortlessly.
It was as if there never had been any break. Ever.
After about an hour or so, I felt the requirement for a particular type of paint brush. Unable to find it in the boxes I had unpacked, I went into the study to look for it there. As I opened an old tin box in a cupboard – lo and behold! – there sat in it, the medicine dropper I had been searching for frantically, earlier. Along with the paint brush that I had come looking for!
What games The Divine plays :))
Today, I have allowed and consciously willed for The Divine to do His bidding with the day that He had given to me – instead of imposing my own wishes and agendas. And how He has kindly and lovingly, dusted away ever so smoothly in an instant, my inner blockage that had troubled me for years. How my soul yearned to restart painting; only to stop myself with the excuse of office and work! Is this what is called Surrenderance?
And what a revelation it’s been!
Sometimes The Divine wants to clean the dirt, sometimes He wants to sit and savour the stillness, sometimes He wants to play with colour and sometimes He wants the words to flow on paper. Sometimes The Higher Power is really simple and some times He loves to be lavish and grand. He acts old and mature at times and also high-spirited and jolly like a child.
But one thing is for sure – The Divine is pure and guileless.
It is good, once in a while, to just be in observance; watch the thoughts come and go and do The Divine’s bidding.
And have an occasional laugh when you realise how He wants you to have your ears to the ground; for as you are dancing to His tune, He has the divine tendency to change the track abruptly. He loves the next tune to be merrier than before.
And He loves to surprise you 🙂